_______
  /#######\         "A TURDUCKEN IS A TURKEY STUFFED WITH
 |  ^   ^  |        A DUCK STUFFED WITH A CHICKEN," SAID
[|  O   O  |]       THE PEDOPHILE PRIEST BEFORE HE LOOKED
 |    |    |        UP MY ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET OR
  \ \___/ /         CHECKED OUT A CD-ROM FROM THE COUNTY
   \_____/          CLERK'S OFFICE TO FIND MY HOME ADDRESS
                    AND (HOPEFULLY) MARKET PRODUCTS TO ME